Bob Ross and the Art Anxiety Battle

 Once a week I teach an art/art history workshop for high school. I have no idea how I ended up doing it. I am neither an art teacher or a proper artist, so it makes for a bit of an adventure. 

 At the beginning of each class I give a little introduction to an artist from the period we are studying. After doing that a few weeks ago I played a Bob Ross episode. My high schoolers are having a hard time remembering to do their background before their foreground. I was hoping that I could use Bob Ross to help remind them. So after watching a bit of it I muted it and let it play in the background. 

This most recent class my helper couldn’t make it so I was all alone with the high schoolers. I had to run out of the room for a moment so I played the history clip I chose for them before leaving. (Why should I talk when I can have a guy with a fancy accent, running around France do it for me). 

 When I came back into the room I asked them a few questions about it. No one had really paid any attention (not that I was surprised, it’s high school). Instead they were asking me to play Bob Ross again. So I reiterated the top points quickly (the workshop is only an hour long after all), and popped in the Bob Ross DVD. 

I sat on a windowsill and sipped my ice tea and watched them watch Bob Ross between brush strokes. Their expressions and commentary on Bob Ross was the best thing. A lot of them really seem to enjoy him. This time I didn’t mute him and one of the girls told me that his voice is really soothing and helps her to relax. 

 That day, my kids were actually excited to paint. Most of the kids in the workshop have never had a real art class before. My workshop is just a little footnote added into this academic based set of classes. Most of these kids are basically ingrained left brainers. They are very type A and very black and white. They feel they don’t do well at art, so it freaks them out. I have been trying to drill into them that art is a learned skill and just like learning anything else new, they aren’t going to start off perfect. This class is such a chore for a lot of them. Yet this time they were actually itching to paint. It was fantastic.

I think some progress towards not fearing art has been made. I partially blame Bob Ross for being an exceptionally welcomed distraction and for showing us that you can be relaxed while painting.  

(I also let two of my kids finger paint near the end of class. Finger painting isn’t scary at all)

2014

 So last year my New Year's Resolution was just to draw. Simple as that. While I didn't draw as much as I had hoped I am proud of myself and thought I would share with you some of the highlights from 2014.

If you would like to see even more of my art from the last year check out my instargram. My username is lotusqueenandi.
 

Autumn Days

Autumn is my favorite season. Do I say that about every season? Anyway I thought I would share some of my favorite photos from this autumn with you. As well as our first snow. It wasn’t much but it was snow.

The nexts photos were taken on an early morning walk after the snow.

I hope you are enjoying this season even more than I am.

Knots in the Works

So quick story. I use to spend a lot of my time hanging out at the daycare my mom use to work at. And I loved it. The kids had so much energy and were always so eager to talk with me. I try not to, but I miss it an awful lot. Anyway, I started to learn how to knit and crochet and as I was learning I would bring a project with me and work on it during homework time. The kids were very interested in it (possibly because it wasn’t homework).

One time I was knitting a scarf and there was one girl left at the daycare, her mom and called and was running late because of traffic. So while we waited I showed her how to do a knit stitch on my scarf. By the time her mom had come she had found a rhythm and was doing very well. After that anytime one of the kids would ask I would show them how to do it. Right in the middle of my project.

  

 I never really thought about it much, until just now. I don’t see most of those kids any more, but I do babysit one of them and the other day we were watching a movie. In the middle of it I pulled out my crochet and started working on it. About eight rows in the kid noticed what I was doing and asked if he could try it. I had some doubts and in my mind the odds were stacked against him. I was using a smaller hook than normal and old white yarn in a dimly lit room. Also there was the fact that his left hand was in a cast. I was doing just a single crochet and I only showed him that much. He made a few mistakes at first, but caught on quickly. He was much better at finding the next place to start a stitch and recognizing when he put it in the wrong place than I was when I started. I even left him alone for a while and when I came back he had several perfect stitches done all by himself. Anyway enough of me bragging about the awesome kids I know. That isn’t the point.

 I am always excited to show the kids how to do a project. I would interrupt a pattern in a scarf just to do it. You probably know what it feels like to finish a project and feeling good about it, only to discover that you’ve made a mistake. Yet for some reason I never cared about the kids making mistakes in my work. It would be ridiculous for me to expect that some one who never held knitting needles before wouldn’t make a mistake. I also never expected there to be a later with these kids.

 At daycare sometimes we only had a kid on certain days or only on testing or only for a few weeks. I didn’t have time to get fresh yarn and tools. So if they showed interest I would put them in right in the middle of my project. And there would be mistakes, but my goodness how I loved those mistakes. It was someone else’s work tired up in my own. It was interest, learning, and bonding. And those kids didn’t have too much trouble with it, they were eager and learned fast.

  

 When I knit or crochet it is usually with the intent to sell whatever I’m making and it always saddened me a bit that the bump in my crochet and the minor inconsistencies in my knit pattern would never be valued by any one in the same light that I valued it in. People who don’t know how to knit or crochet will probably never notice those mistakes and someone who does would not be impressed.

It got me wondering though. Are there knots in our lives that we’re misinterpreting? Are we missing moments to make knots in? Everyone makes mistakes, but how are we interpreting them? They could have more value than we realize.

Step it Up

Hi there! How are your New Year's resolutions working out? I know I know, but don't worry! This is not a guilt trip! Hopefully I can give you a little encouragement! Don't give up! And don't worry if you get behind, it's never too late to set goals and begin again.

 I personally don't really do New Year's Resolutions because I can never seem to keep them. Instead I break it up and do something more like Seasonal Goals. It's a lot less intimidating.  For example in the summer I have goals such as paint more, hike, be active, and visited places with my friends. In the Autumn as soon as Summer ends I pick up the pace for making things to sell at Christmas craft shows and tackle a huge To Do list of what to make and buy in preparation. In the Winter I wind down and try to learn something new. Such as last year I learned how to make mittens and this year I’m trying my hand at loom knitting. I also have year round goals such as exercise and the usual. But this year I have one goal I specifically want to focus on.

 Every year on new years I look back and try to sum up what the year was like. I go through facebook pictures and see what I've posted on DeviantArt and other websites, and I look through my sketchbooks and journals. For 2013 I was very disappointed on the lack of art and drawings I had. I found an awesome drawing I had been working on since February of last year, but never got around to finishing. So this year my goal is to draw more. That it, my New Year's resolutions can be summed up in a single word. Draw. No need to over explain or complicate it. It's as simple as that.

 Since my birthday is a few days after New Years I spent some of my extra money on a cute little sketch book and some nice drawing pens. I decided I wanted to try my hand with pens and see how it goes. At first I wasn't thrilled with what I produced.

But I loosened up and started to enjoy it. 

 

Keeping focus and making wise decisions are some of the most essential skills you can ever develop. Basically the most important things to keep in mind is self control and priorities. Know what’s important and work to make time for it. Whether it be family of friends, improving yourself, or anything else. Be aware of it.

 Things like Inspiration and Motivation can sometimes be fleeting or nonexistent and when it’s not there it can feel like you’ve run out of gas and can’t tackle the next hill. But Motivation and Inspiration can be topped by one thing, Determination.

“You can’t wait for inspiration, you have to go after it with a club.”

-Jack London.

It sucks but sometimes you have to just sit down and get down to business. My sister (http://ajbluesox.deviantart.com/) once told me that she almost hated it when people told her that she was naturally talented. She said she worked and spent hours improving her art. She said there wasn’t anything “natural” about it, everything she could do was learned and earned.

“Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything that you’re willing to practice, you can do.”

-Bob Ross

So if you want something you have to work for it. Every year I set goals and I would think of every little thing and make a huge list. Including everything from eating right to personality flaws. I would overwhelm myself and become depressed when I couldn't reach my impossibly high standards. Someone once told me that you don’t have to be selfish but you do need to be self interested. So break it up, know your limits and yourself. Figure out what works and scratch anything that doesn’t. Does waking up and going to bed earlier help? What time of day are you most productive? Can you focus in a mess environment? Does that extra cup of coffee really help?

 

Also reward yourself when you reach a goal. I don’t drink sweet things often, so if I’ve been working hard or have a big project to do I’ll buy myself a tea or a soda. I also keep a candy bar lying around for extra motivation if there’s a task I’m really dreading. Learn to recognize accomplishment and celebrate it. Be proud of yourself.

I also keep track of what I do and make a list of goals for the day (I love lists). As well as weekly goals.

 Okay I’m going to let you in on a secret. HabitRpg.com. It’s a silly and effective way to keep track of your progress. It has helped me out so much! It helps show you your goals and track accomplishments. I’m not going to tell you much more than that. Check it out for yourself. I haven’t regretted it. (Just remember to start small.)

Alright guys I have collected some links that I hope will encourage you. Please check them out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFyo3s6DQFw  (<---- This one inspired me so much and is probably the reason for all this, click it!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HF-qciZkOKU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxGRhd_iWuE

http://www.buzzfeed.com/smbc/you-have-eleven-lifetimes-gc67

http://solar-citrus.tumblr.com/post/62318334936/this-has-been-something-that-has-been-bothering-me

http://negshin.tumblr.com/post/61606933889/cloudyskiesandcatharsis-iconic-quotes-about-art

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”

- Arthur Ashe

“Step with care and great tact. And remember that life’s a balancing act.”

-Dr. Seuss.

First Snow

I don’t know about you but where I live snow is important. The excitement  before a snow storm is something you can feel in the air. A kind of breathless anticipation for frosted landscape. The crisp air, fat snowflakes, and the crunch of snow under boots. The quiet peace that seems to settle over everything in the early morning. Hot chocolate, snowmen, icicles, and white trees. Sun light streaming through vanilla branches.
Summer’s sweet, and Autumn is beautiful, but for us in the Rockies this is what we’ve been waiting for.

Anyway I couldn't help but share my excitement! We're still waiting for a real snow though. We've only had a an inch or two really. 

I let you in on a little secret. Ready? Brace yourself. Up here in the Rockies we don't always have snow for Christmas. Let that sink it for a moment. We're actually more likely to have snow for Easter (it's hard to plan your Easter outfit around a snow coat by the way). Sure the ski resorts will have snow, but here at about 8,000 odd feet, us smaller mountains don't always get it. 

When I Grow Up

 What do you want to be when you grow up? It’s a question commonly asked when growing up. One of my earliest response to this question was “ a ballerina, or a dog.” I’m sorry to say that neither of those have worked out too well.  In high school there’s a lot of pressure around this question. Which college are you going to? Which career will you pursue? Will you make a lot of money? Do you love it enough to spend your money on it and time on it? Will you still enjoy it twenty years from now?  

  When I was in high school it seemed like everyone had everything figured out but me. One of my friends was going to be an actress, one a movie director, another a baker, and another an artist. The pressure increases as you get closer to graduating and your older friends are going off to college, chasing their dreams, and seemingly starting their lives.  

  In desperation to follow my friends and feeling pressured to have a dream of my own, I decided on becoming a massage therapist. They make good money, they can work at resorts and cruise ships, and they make people feel better. It didn’t sound too bad to me. Also in the back of my mind I reasoned that I could use it to pay off any loans I would have and then later put myself through school if I ever decided on something different. It sounded nice and I tried to be enthusiastic about it. I called schools and looked into different programs. This is it I thought.

   One day though, I met a friend’s family friend and I was introduced as an aspiring massage therapist. We talked for nearly two hours. He told me a lot about  being a massage therapist. He  told me that most people don’t last longer than three to five years if they make it out of the massage school. He told me it became tiring physically and emotionally. He told me about how much his hands would hurt at the end of the day. That conversation made me think.

   When I was about eight or nine, I fell off my bike and hurt my wrist. It was really embarrassing. A whole party of people witnessed it. I screamed and cried and it took my little sister a while to convince my parents that I was actually hurt before they came and got me. They bandaged my wrist and told me it was probably just a sprained.

   My wrist bothered me for years and I complained a long while before my parents finally took me to a chiropractor. According to him I had knocked a few bones out of place and had cracked something. My wrist hadn’t healed right and he told me that I would probably have arthritis at a young age. So now when the weather is bad my wrist hurts and when it gets too cold I can hardly get my right hand to function at all. Even doing simple things will bother my hand and can be a little a frustrating.

   Weighing all this along with the difficulties getting to a school from where I lived, and getting money to do so, forced me to realize that I couldn’t become a massage therapist. I should be crushed right? My dreams had been shattered. While I was sad and disappointed, I wasn’t heartbroken. I had just picked something and it hadn’t worked out. I could just find a new “dream.”

    My teachers had always pressured me into going to a college and that’s what all my friends were doing or working toward. I tossed around the idea of becoming a counselor or a shrink, but I couldn’t handle talking about people’s problems all day. I considered being a teacher or working in childcare, and while I love children, I don’t think I could handle a large group of them on a daily basis. I also considered many other options, none that really grabbed me. So I was stumped. I couldn’t answer the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I didn’t have a dream. I didn’t have anything to go to college for. Which is what society and my teachers told me I should do. If I couldn’t do that what was I good for? What will happen to my life?  Where was my worth?

 The question continued to haunt me after I graduated high school. For my first year after high school I babysat, I worked at a friend’s coffee shop, and I helped out as a teacher’s assistant at a homeschool group once a week. The second year I babysat and continued to help out with the homeschool group. Whenever people would ask me the dreaded question and I would make up some kind of passable answer to appease them.                                    

  This year I have absolutely nothing planned. No volunteering, no job, nothing. It’s freaking me out. Here I am, 20 years old, currently living with my parents, no job, no dreams, and no plans. All this summer I’ve been thinking and worrying.

   Then it occurred to me. Do I have to answer the question that way? Does what I want to be when I grow up have to be answered by an occupation? So this year I’ve decided. I’m just going to enjoy myself and not worry about it. I’m not going to worry about what I want to do with my life. Maybe one day I’ll figure it out, but right now I’m just going to live.

   I think that it is possible that’s what God wants me to do. I never give myself a break. I try my best to be what I think I should be, instead of what I am. These past few years I’ve had less and less on my plate. The whole time I think God’s been telling me “RELAX!” Which I’ve been ignoring the best I can. “You don’t understand God! I’m an adult! I need to be responsible and have plans. I need to know where my life is going. I need to have a dream.” I’ve been trying to look further up the path instead of smelling the flowers. Which has not been leaving me any more satisfied. I feel that if I let myself enjoy now and not worry about tomorrow that I will fail somehow, or miss something, and that people will judge me. “Why aren’t you going to college? Why don’t you have a job? Why don’t you know what you want?” I just don’t have any big, future dreams like that. My dreams are more immediate, and I’m beginning to let myself believe that’s okay.

  So for now,  I dream that one day I will paint something that I will absolutely love, that one day I will learn how to knit a hood, learn how to cook, that I will see more kids smile, make more friends, and spend lot’s of time with my family.  And when I grow up...

When I grow up I want to be happy

When I grow up I want to be kind

When I grow up I want to be creative and inspire others

And when I grow up I want to love and be loved.